When Jayz sang the song ‘forever young’, he must have thought long and hard.
Growing up comes with a lot of responsibilities and it takes only the bravest and strongest men to still be able to succeed in spite of all these challenges.
One of the responsibilities that come with growing up is getting married.
When you get to a certain age, you are expected to begin the dating game which is supposed to lead to marriage at some point.
Men who are of a certain age and haven’t been openly seen with a partner might start to be seen as closet gay men or sometimes, as someone who cannot perform sexually.
Heavens help you if you have a family that is very family-oriented.
It won’t be long before you start getting calls from them, asking you when you are bringing your partner home to meet them or when you are getting married.
If after all their soft-prodding’s and cajoling, you still fail to bring someone home as your partner, then they’ll go hard on your bottom.
That’s when they start to organize blind dates and try to match-make you with ladies whom they feel might be a good match for you even after you’ve specifically told them that you are not into blind dating.
One of my friend’s younger sister thought that the reason why her brother was still single was because he didn’t have the guts to ask ladies out and decided to help him out.
By setting up an account on an internet dating website on his behalf without his knowledge.
She ran the account herself and scrutinized each lady before chatting them up.
She did this for some weeks unknown to my friend.
It was not until she told him that she had a blind-date planed for him for a Friday night that he got to know what she had been up to.
Unfortunately, my friend was in a distance relationship with a lady he was staying faithful to and was keeping it private.
That’s the reason his family didn’t know about it and thought he was a sissy who simply couldn’t walk up to girls to ask them out.
My point is, the societal pressure on men to get married is very high and only men who are strong-willed can stay unmarried for a long time in this society.
Most men eventually bow to societal pressure to get married.
But really, why do people get married?
Let’s take a quick look at some of the reasons men get married or are encouraged to get married.
- Health Protection-: There are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases out there today and some of them like HIV/AIDS and Herpes have no known cure till date.
It is believed that having multiple sexual partners is one of the ways by which these diseases are contracted and spread.
Men are therefore encouraged to stick to one partner in order to avoid contracting these diseases.
The best way to ensure that you stick to one partner is to get married.
- It brings a Sense of Responsibility-: Marriage can make a responsible man out of the most irresponsible man out there.
When you find a woman whom you really love, you would want to ensure that she is well taken care of.
And when the children start coming, this sense of responsibility is even higher; you would want to spend more time with your kids.
So, no more hanging at the bar every night after work.
You would also want your kids to have the best things in life, a good education, good cloths, a trust fund and college tuition hence you would want to work harder.
And stay away from unnecessary activities that make you spend money fruitlessly.
- It allows you to have Kids-: This is like the major reason why most men get married.
Even gay couples adopt kids these days.
This shows you just how important having your own kids is in the society today.
That’s why there are a lot of baby mama’s today; even men, who do not want to get married, get ladies pregnant so that they can have children without getting married.
- It’s a way to proof your love to your partner-: When you have been dating a lady for a while, she would expect that you put a ring on it if you really love her.
If you doubt it, ask Beyonce.
Some women even go as far as quitting the relationship if you refuse to put a ring on it.
Putting a ring on it simply means asking her to marry you.
So if you have a woman you really love and wouldn’t want to lose, you just have to put a ring on it.
- Healthier Foods and a Cleaner Environment-: Believe it or not, the only reason why some men get married is so that they can have someone wait on them, wash their clothes, clean the home and put good food on the table.
- Improved Societal Status-: Another reason is for improved societal status.
Married men are usually given more respect in the society, compared to single men.
In some countries, if you are not married, you cannot hold a political office.
Even if the laws of the land allow it, you might not be able to get votes and support.
People prefer to vote for married men with a seemingly perfect family.
- Financial Assistance-: Imagine having someone to share all the mortgage and bills with.
Having a spouse who earns her own money is a very good way to improve your financial status.
I’m not saying it’s good to marry solely because you need someone to share your bills with but having a working spouse sure helps to take some of the financial burden off you.
Your kids would benefit from this as well.
- Regular Sex-: Some men also get married because they want to have regular sex.
They believe that once a woman is married to them, she won’t be able to deny them their ‘rights’ – Sex.
Disadvantages of Getting Married
I mentioned some of the reasons why men get married above; now let’s consider some of the downsides of getting married.
Many men have gotten married in the past, only to discover that they had entered the worst nightmare of their life.
- Nagging-: Jeez! Some women can nag! Pray you don’t get hooked to a nagging woman or you would fast become very miserable and sad.
Imagine living under the same roof with a woman who can’t seem to shut it for more than 30 minutes.
Who is never satisfied with anything you do and who would always find a reason to complain no matter how hard you try to please her.
That my friend is the worst situation any man can get himself into.
- You Cannot Make Decisions Alone-: Say goodbye to those days when you hop on the next flight to Paris for a vacation simply because you feel like.
Or when you could decide to spend the night out because you want to.
Or those days when you can just decide to splurge on a $10,000 car because you can afford it.
Now, you have someone whom you have to consult and discuss your every move with.
This always leads to crisis in marriages because couples, as the different and unique individuals that they are, would always have different opinions about issues.
And if both of you can’t seem to find a balance, you might be heading for the divorce courts soon.
- Your financial burden would increase-: When you get married, you are no longer responsible for just yourself.
You now have a home, a wife to take care of and kids eventually.
No more lying in bed till 11:00 am, you just have to work harder.
- Jealousy-: When you get married to someone, you are expected to stay faithful to them.
This means, no more booty calls and flings.
If she catches you doing any of these forbidden things, heavens help you.
- Loss of Privacy-: You lose your sense of privacy when you get married.
Trying to maintain some privacy would be seen as keeping secrets and may get you into trouble with your wife.
Some women go as far as checking their husband’s phones for secrets he might be keeping, checking credit card statements and hiring a private investigator to look into their husbands affairs and activities (Kim Kardashian I see you).
Just to be sure he’s not cheating or keeping secrets.
- Living with Annoying things and Habits you would not-: This goes both ways, women experience this and so do men.
Because you are two different people with different backgrounds and traits coming together.
You would find out some things you may not like about your partner but would still have to live with it anyway.
For instance, you might not like a particular TV show but would be forced to watch it all the same because it’s your partner’s favorite show.
5 Reasons Why Men Should Never Get Married
Many men are of the opinion that marriage is a trap that should be avoided.
There is a website on the internet, www.donotmarry.com.
This website is basically focused on discouraging people from getting married.
There are also some groups of people who advocate for open marriages instead of the traditional style of marriage that is obtainable in the society today.
Some of the reasons they use to support their claims and advises include-:
- You’ll soon be divorced anyway
In the United States of America alone, the rate of divorce is about 50 percent.
So, it means that about half of all the couples you see out there getting married and looking all happy and in love, would be divorced within a few years.
Why not just spare yourself that emotional and financial stress?
- She’ll Steal your Money
Divorce is usually called ‘License to steal’ by people within the do-not-marry school of thought.
They believe that when you get married, you automatically give someone the license to steal from you.
Because if you decide to go your separate ways, you would be required to share your properties in half.
So that each party goes with half of what they collectively own.
And yes, even if she’s never worked or owned a bank account since you both got married, she’ll still be entitled to half of everything you won.
And don’t even talk about the pre-nuptial agreements you signed because all she needs to render the agreement null and void is to hire a very smart divorce attorney.
- Regular Sex in Marriage is a Myth
I don’t know who told you that, but you won’t get regular sex.
Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and sometimes stress.
And if you think that you are going to be having sex six times a week because you are now married, you need to ask married men what the real situation is.
Well, it could happen like that within the first few years of marriage but shortly after, the law of diminishing return begins to set in.
And before you know it, you would be getting laid zero number of times a week.
- Just Say Goodbye to your Ambitions/Dreams
So, you want to become the richest man in the world.
You want to travel round the world on a ship like Christopher Columbus but you haven’t done that yet and you are planning to get married?
Think of it; how many women would allow you to leave them and the kids at home while you go around travelling to unknown and probably, dangerous places?
Trust me, telling your wife that about such plans would only end with her yelling at you.
Calling you selfish and maybe giving you the silent treatment until you tell her that it was just a crazy joke.
- Fancy getting stuck with the same cloths forever?
That’s how marriage feels for most men.
Even when the cloth gets old and worn out, you still have to keep wearing it except you decide to pull it off.
So which school of thought would you rather go with?
The ‘get married quick’ group or the marriage means doom school of thought?